


A Pointless Resistance

by mtwalker



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, M/M, My first time trying to write longform destiel, Slow Burn, be kind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtwalker/pseuds/mtwalker
Summary: Castiel is following in the footsteps of many of his brothers. But after meeting the Winchesters, he's not sure what he wants anymore.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Family

Castiel came from a religious family. When one normally speaks of having a religious family, they mean that they go to church often and have bible quotes in fancy frames on their wall. This was not the case for the Novak household. They were raised in the church, to a very literal degree at times, often going to two or three services a day multiple days a week. Their father, Charles Novak, liked to think he was raising a group of soldiers for God. Many of his children agreed with this sentiment, going on to become ministers and priests. Others tended to rebel, as many children do. Charles was quick to cut them out of the family, trimming them away like dead flowers on an otherwise picture perfect shrubbery. 

Castiel always feared this sort of rebellion. Not so much the fact that his siblings were doing it, but the idea that he could be cut out just as easily. One day, he would be the one that Anna and Uriel were pretending didn’t exist. He knew the thought didn’t bother Gabriel, one of the more recent “losses” of the family. His older brother had just left in the middle of the night, his bags packed quietly and no final words spoken to any of them.

Their family had many secrets like that. Gabriel used to insist that they had witch blood in their veins, always in hushed tones and behind locked doors. Castiel thought this was particularly fanciful, but Gabriel had been insistent.

“Have you ever seen Balthazar sleep?” he had pressed one night, huddled next to Castiel on the bed. Cas had rolled his eyes, not bothering to look up from the homework on his lap. “And Uriel always knows when I’m lying.”

“That’s because you’re not a good liar.”

“I’m a very good liar.” Gabriel stuck out his tongue, flicking the end of Castiel’s pencil. The younger brother groaned, sitting his paper to the side.

“Those aren’t powers. It’s just weird coincidences. Besides, none of that is real. Just drop it.”

Gabriel had been disappointed by Cas’s lack of interest, not bringing it up with him again. He had left a month later. There was a part of Castiel that blamed himself.

Cas had started college a year after Balthazar, also majoring in Religious Studies. His study habits were a little different than his older brothers, however. While Castiel spent countless hours in the library, sitting at a corner table alone with a mountain of books to occupy him, Balthazar preferred to spend his time in a more physical sense. He often had half a dozen people over at a time for “study sessions”, focusing heavily on the “sins of the flesh” aspect. Their father, of course, knew nothing about this.

The year after, their younger brother Uriel also enrolled. Balthazar complained about him constantly, swearing that the younger Novak was reporting back to their father. Castiel was always quick to defend Uriel, but there was a part of him that agreed. Growing up, Uriel relished nothing more than proving his unyielding loyalty, and Castiel doubted that the trait had faded.

Cas wandered into one of the central dining halls, spotting his older brother across the room with three other students, the names of which he couldn’t remember. Balthazar waved at the sight of him, a wide grin on his face. Cas stopped at the end of the table, not bothering to take a seat. He needed to study, anyway.

“How’d you know I was in here, Cassy?” Balthazar asked, wrapping an arm around the blonde man to his left.

“You always eat lunch around now.” Cas grumbled, fiddling with the strap on his bag.

“Yeah, but usually in the music hall. I’m only here because there’s some last minute recital or something.”

“Well, you must have mentioned it.” Cas shrugged, standing a little straighter. “Have you heard from Gabriel?”

Balthazar’s confused expression turned curious, his smile twisting wider. “Well, why do you ask, brother dear? You know he’s not ‘one of us’ anymore.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Answer the question, please.”

His brother sighed, waving a hand. “Fine. Yes, Gabriel stopped by the other day, raided my cabinet, called out some strange advice and left. Same as he does every two months or so. Why? Has he not stopped by yet?”

“No, but Uriel had made a comment about seeing him. Someone should warn him.”

“Why? He’s already been exiled. Not like he has anything to worry about.” Balthazar used his free hand to pick up a couple fries, tossing them into his mouth.

“Yes, but I would prefer not to get a lecture about seeing him.”

Balthazar groaned. “Fine, fine. I’ll occupy the little spy so you can talk to him. Won’t be hard. The little worm hates me anyway.”

Castiel frowned, but didn’t argue. Gabriel still held a special place in his heart, and he was willing to lead Uriel on for a couple hours if it meant he could spend some time with his brother. 

Balthazar waved to him as he headed back out of the dining hall, grabbing an apple as he passed. It wasn’t much, but it would keep his hunger at bay for a few hours while he studied. He knew his father wouldn’t accept anything less than perfection.

  
  



	2. Friends and Foes

Castiel wandered into the library, taking a bite out of his apple. It was the first thing he had eaten all day, between classes and studying. He found it hard to enjoy, however, with his mind still on Gabriel. Castiel had always held a special place for Gabriel, considering him one of the few members of his family he regularly got along with. When he had left in the middle of the night, it had stung more than Cas let on. Of course, Gabriel had returned less than a month later, waiting outside one of Cas’s classes to throw his arm around his younger brother's shoulder like nothing had happened. 

That’s how Castiel had treated it. By pretending nothing had happened, he didn’t have to face the hurt and betrayal he had felt when he woke up to Gabriel’s empty spot at the breakfast table. To be fair, Gabriel never brought it up either. The two of them still saw each other when Gabriel would wander into town, always making sure to pull aside his favorite brothers to catch up and offer advice. That was the thing about Gabriel that Castiel missed the most; his advice. For someone so eccentric, he was a very good listener, and he tended to be blunt but honest in his judgment. 

Cas was quickly waved over to a wooden table against the wall, his friend Sam sitting with two large cups of coffee.

“There you are! I was wondering if Welch was holding you late again.”

Castiel shook his head, taking the seat across from him. Sam was one of the few people that Castiel regularly spoke to outside of his family. The two had been partnered up in a History of Religion class, and Castiel was unable to escape the pull of Sam’s unyielding friendliness. Sam pushed the second coffee across the table, Cas taking it with a thankful nod. 

“Is your girlfriend meeting us here?” Cas asked, pulling out one of the many books he was carrying.

“Yeah, she’ll be here in a bit. I think she went to grab lunch.” Sam turned back to his laptop, his eyes scanning over the web pages. Castiel often wondered if he had ever met anyone quite as smart as Sam Winchester. He didn’t think so. Not only was Sam studying Law, he was top of his class and also incredibly well liked. He seemed to be the perfect student, as far as Cas could tell. It made him question why Sam chose to spend so much time studying with him. Surely he had his pick of friends, what was it about Cas drew his interest? He assumed it was pity, obviously. 

“Hey, boys!” Ruby called, sliding into the seat beside Sam. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, taking the danish she offered him. Ruby and Sam had been dating for at least a year, from what Cas could remember. It wasn’t like he paid much attention to relationships, but she was often there when they studied. He assumed Sam liked her, based on the looks that were sent her way, but he was by no means an expert.

“Hey, Ruby!” Sam grinned, “How was your meeting?”

“Oh, you know, already talking about plans for next semester's rush week. Boring sorority stuff.”

“Well, I’d love to hear about it.” Sam shut his laptop, ever the attentive boyfriend. Castiel quietly began sliding his book back into his bag, deciding he would rather not listen to whatever it was Ruby’s sorority was up to.

“Sam, I’m going to go to class. I want to make sure I get a seat near the front.” 

“Oh!” Sam looked up at Cas, who was already sliding his canvas bag over his shoulder. “Well, don’t forget your coffee, okay? And make sure to eat something!” Castiel waved over his shoulder as he left, heading back out into the sunny midday.

He was thirty minutes early to class, and yet he wasn’t the only one in the room. This disappointed him, because if there was one thing Cas liked, it was his time alone. But, sure enough, leaned against the wall, and already asleep was Dean. 

Dean was also a Religious Studies major, or so Castiel assumed. Either that, or God had cursed him to take exclusively courses that Castiel had. He had never seen someone sleep through more classes. It was as if the man wanted to waste his money and learn nothing. Cas wasn’t sure why it bothered him so much, after all, it wasn’t his responsibility to make sure Dean had a proper education. But maybe that’s the thing that was so infuriating; Dean  _ did _ have an education. Every time he had been called on, even in the middle of a dead sleep, he was able to wake up and spit out the correct answer without hesitation, like it was as easy as breathing.

When he wasn’t snoring through class, he was eating. Castiel had seen him eat anything from burgers to foot-long sandwiches. Once he had watched in awe as the man ate an entire pie before class was over, and still managed to hand in his homework, which Cas had seen him get back with perfect marks a week later. 

Castiel slunk into his seat, pulling his book back out to try and salvage any studying time he had missed between his commute. No sooner than he had opened his book, he heard a snort from behind him. He resisted the urge to turn around, hoping that Dean was just shifting in his sleep.

“Ugh…” A loud groan interrupted him, making his shoulders stiffen.  _ Please, just go back to sleep. _ He wished desperately. But apparently luck wasn’t on his side today, as Dean chose that moment to pull out his phone. If Cas thought he had trouble concentrating before, it was nothing compared to now. Not that he was particularly interested in Dean’s conversation with whoever Bobby was, but it was hard to ignore when shouted in one's ear.

Once class finally ended, Castiel ran out of the room, hoping to avoid another confrontation with Dean. He was lucky this time, and slipped around the corner of the building before the other man had even made it out of the lecture hall. He sighed in relief, zigzagging quickly through crowds of students. He had spoken to Dean exactly three times, and had very quickly determined that they had very different views of what was important. The small, ugly part of Cas that sometimes reared its head liked to think that Dean would never really amount to anything. He tried to ignore those thoughts, of course, but sometimes they gave him a little comfort.

He finally reached the coffee shop at the edge of campus, quickly heading over to the man in the corner who was waving to him. 

“Hey, little bro!” Gabriel grinned, leaning back in his chair. Castiel frowned, sliding into the seat across from him.

“You shouldn’t do that. You’re going to break the chair.”

Gabriel waved his hand dismissively, chewing on the end of a sucker that had long since dissolved in his mouth. “Why so much concern? Besides, I’m not here to talk about whether or not I damage property. What is this Balthazar keeps telling me about some boy in your class?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, making Cas groan.

“When will you learn not to listen to Balthazar? I have no interest, nor will I ever have any interest in Dean.”

“Oooo, so his name is  _ Dean _ , huh? A little old fashioned for me, but you do have an old soul.”

Castiel scrunched his nose, looking disgusted at the thought. “Why are you really here, Gabriel?”

“What? I can’t stop by to see my little brother? Am I not allowed to be concerned?” Castiel reached for his bag, making Gabriel take on a more serious tone. “Okay, okay. Fine. I was just teasing you. I really am just here to make sure you’re safe. Balthazar mentioned people going missing on campus and I wanted to check-in.”

Cas sat his bag back down. “I haven’t seen anything like that.”

“Yeah, but we both know how social you are, Cas.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Look, just be careful, okay?”

Castiel hesitated, then nodded. He was always careful. It wasn’t like promising it now would make any huge difference.

  
  



	3. A Party To Remember

Sam didn’t live very far from campus. Castiel appreciated this as he made his way from the coffee shop to his friend’s apartment. It was starting to get cold out, and all Cas had was a trench coat two sizes too big for him that had been handed down from one of his older brothers. It was only really useful in the dead of winter, when the fabric swallowed him whole. Fall, however, was not cold enough and Cas usually just suffered through. 

He pulled the door shut behind him and slowly made his way upstairs, coming to a stop on the third floor. He could just make out someone arguing in the hall. Cas wasn’t usually one for confrontation, so he crept quietly through the door. Standing a few doors down was Sam and Dean, of all people. What was Sam doing talking to someone as frustrating as Dean? No wonder they were arguing.

“I know what you’re doing here, and you can just stop, okay?” Sam gave Dean an annoyed look, crossing his arms.

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Bullshit. You’re watching me for Dad. Well, you need to end it. I told you all I didn’t want anything to do with-”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard you the last fifteen times. Look, I’m just doing my job, okay?”

“What does that have to do with being outside my apartment?”

“Well, your girlfriend-”

“No.” Sam’s face grew cold, colder than Cas had ever seen it. “I don’t wanna hear it Dean.”

“I just mean-” Dean stopped, noticing Cas standing at the end of the hall. “The hell do you want?”

Cas’s eyes widened and he took a step forward. “Sorry, I was just…” He looked to Sam. “We were supposed to study today, right?”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, Cas, let me grab my books. My brother was just leaving.”

“Brother?” Cas couldn’t help himself. The idea of Dean, irresponsible, infuriating Dean being Sam’s brother was surprising, to say the least. 

“Yeah, Sammy’s my baby brother.” Dean paused, looking Cas up and down, “Don’t I know you?”

“Cas, you’re in the same major as Dean, right? You might have some classes together.”

Dean wagged his finger at Cas. “Right! You’re that know-it-all who sits in the front and has like… seven books open. Thought I recognized you.”

Cas didn’t respond, choosing instead to look at Sam expectantly. Sam took the hint, turning back into his apartment to grab his school bag.

“So,” continued Dean, oblivious to Cas’s lack of interest, “How do you know Sammy?”

“We had a class together.” He looked back over at Dean, noticing for the first time how the older Winchester kept glancing back at the door, like he was desperate not to leave. “Is everything-”

“Okay, Cas. I’m ready.” Sam stepped back into the hall, locking the door behind him. Dean’s whole attitude shifted, turning back into the cocky, self-assured figure so quickly that Cas questioned if he had seen him correctly before. 

“See ya around, Sammy!” Dean waved, heading back down the hall. Sam didn’t respond, which made Cas more uncomfortable. He’d been mad at his brothers, sure, but never enough to ignore them so brashly.

They headed down the stairs, Castiel rushing to keep up with Sam, whose legs were so long that he could take them four at a time. 

“How did you know where I lived?” Sam called over his shoulder.

“What?” Cas asked, a little out of breath.

“I just moved, and you’ve never been over here. How’d you end up outside of my apartment?”

Cas blinked, a little stunned. Had Sam really never mentioned where he lived before? Surely he must have. How else would Cas have found the place? “You must have said something about it to Ruby.”

Sam furrowed his brow, giving Castiel a strange look. “Yeah, I guess I must have.” They walked in silence for a moment, before Sam perked up again. “Oh! That reminds me! Ruby’s sorority is having a party tonight. You should come with me!”

“I’m not really-” Cas started, but was quickly interrupted.

“I know, I know. You don’t like parties. But come on! It’ll be a fun experience. And if you don’t like it, we can leave.”

Castiel thought it over for a moment. He wasn’t exactly known for branching out, but Sam seemed so excited about it. It was only one night, after all. How bad could it be? He could say he had done it, and then never go to another party.

“Yes, alright.” Sam thumped him on the shoulder, grinning.

“Awesome! You’re not gonna regret it, man.”

Castiel did, in fact, regret it after a singular hour of being there. The house was crowded, bodies pushing against each other and bouncing around the room in an unpredictable way that made them impossible to avoid. He’d had beer spilled on him three times, and been tripped twice. Everything was loud and hot and close, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He’d lost Sam about half an hour ago, when Ruby had grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him off to meet some of her “sisters.” While he wanted nothing more than to leave, he didn’t want to pull Sam away so soon after arriving. He’d resigned himself to walking home, deciding to send Sam a text telling him where he’d gone. 

He pushed his way through the front door, leaning against the brick wall with his eyes closed to steady himself. The cold night air helped, and his breathing soon relaxed. He opened his eyes and jumped, noticing for the first time a figure watching him from across the street. He looked around him but, no, they had to be watching  _ him. _ There was no one else out here. Cas’s grip on his phone tightened as he took a couple of steps forward. The figure moved towards him, slowly at first, but soon picking up speed.

“W-Who are you?!” he shouted, hoping that one of the party-goers might hear him, but he was out of luck. The music was far too loud. 

The man, Cas could tell he was a man now that he had moved under the streetlight, grinned inhumanly wide at him, his body swaying back and forth to some rhythm that Cas couldn’t hear. Before he could open his mouth, the man was on him, slamming him into the ground. Rows and rows of sharp teeth poked out from behind his lips as he snarled in Cas’s face. This was it. This was how he was going to die.

A hot spray of blood covered him, and the body on him fell limp, it’s head flying off into the darkness. He gasped, the iron-y taste making him gag. Someone pulled the dead body off of him, releasing his arms so he could wipe the blood from his face. Dean Winchester held out a hand, his other holding a now-bloody knife.

“Come on. I’ve gotta go find Sammy.”

Cas blinked up at him and, after a second, took his hand. Dean pulled him to his feet, dusted off his shoulders and nodded. 

“Stay here.” Dean ran off into the house, leaving Cas standing in the dark with a dead body. 

A dead body. Dean had killed someone and Cas had seen. Hell, he’d been right underneath them. It could’ve easily been him with his head in the bushes. He was starting to breathe heavily again, unable to pull his eyes from the headless corpse abandoned on the brick. Should he call someone? The police? Dean had  _ murdered _ someone. 

Someone who was trying to attack him. Who had pinned him down to the ground. Who’s sharp teeth he had seen. They hadn’t seemed… human. But they had to have been. What else could they be but human?

“Cas!” He looked up, seeing Sam’s tall silhouette run towards him, his brother on his heels. “Dean just told me, are you alright?”

Castiel took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself. “Y-Yes. I believe so.” He turned to Dean, a curious look in his eyes. “How did you know I was here?”

Dean held up his hands defensively. “I wasn’t following you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I was doing some poking around across the street. Looking for anything to do with those missing students. I heard a scream and came running.”

“I thought no one could… I thought the music was too loud.” He glanced back at the sorority house, where the party pressed on as if nothing sinister was happening right outside. 

“I heard you.” His head whipped back around to face Dean, studying him intently. He wasn’t sure why, but those words felt like they held a deeper sentiment than what was just on the surface. Something in his chest squirmed at the thought, but he shoved it back down. Now wasn’t the time.

“What was that thing?” 

“Better you didn’t know,” Dean grumbled, kicking the body with his boot.

“That man… that  _ thing _ attacked me. Tried to kill me, I think. I deserve to know what it was.”

“Cas,” Sam started, holding a hand out to try and calm him down, but Castiel pulled away.

“No. I want to know. Tell me.”

The two exchanged a look that Cas didn’t understand, and Dean sighed in defeat. “Fine. Go wait in the car. I’ve gotta deal with this guy. Then we’ll get burgers and talk, okay?”

An hour later, the three of them were sitting at a picnic table outside of a small burger joint that was open until 4. Dean had two burgers to himself, the first already half-finished. Cas and Sam were picking off his fries. They had explained, repeatedly, that the thing that had attacked him was a vampire. This was still something he was having trouble wrapping his brain around completely. How could any of this be  _ real? _ Sure, he  _ did _ just come face to face with something he couldn’t explain, but a  _ vampire? _ That seemed… unrealistic. But not only did Dean believe it, but Sam as well. Sam, who was top of his class. For some reason, that made it more… real.

Cas had resigned himself to at least humoring them. If by chance they happened to be right, he didn’t want to be caught off guard. 

“So, why were you poking around outside the sorority house?” Sam asked, nibbling on the end of a fry. Dean sat down his burger.

“That place seems fishy, Sam. At least two of the missing kids were last seen around there.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Some coincidences are just that, Dean. Coincidences.”

“Well, you know I’d have an easier time with more hands-”

“No.” Sam straightened up. “I told you, I’m out.”

Dean sighed, looking back down at his burger. “Yeah, okay. Okay. Just… promise you won’t hang around there so much.”

“Is this because my girlfriend-”

“No, Sam. I don’t give a damn about your girlfriend. I have a bad feeling about that place. Humor me, man?”

Sam clenched his jaw, but nodded. “Fine.”

They sat in silence for a bit longer, Cas feeling like he was intruding on something. He cleared his throat, looking over at Dean.

“I could help. If you need it.”

Dean laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it. Just go back to your books and classes. I’ll handle it.”

Cas frowned, looking away again. He wasn’t sure why, but that didn’t sit well with him.

  
  



	4. An Unlikely Duo

It had been two days since the party. Two days since Castiel had been attacked. Two days since his world had started to come apart at the seams. He was already at his breaking point. 

It had nothing to do with the actual attack. Sure, now he didn’t walk home alone at night, and he was even a little jumpy during the day, but that didn’t bother him. It didn’t dig at the back of his mind day in and day out like some kind of parasite. It wasn’t making him lose focus while trying to study or during class. No, that spot was reserved for Dean Winchester.

Cas knew he wasn’t much of a fighter. To be honest, he wasn’t entirely sure how helpful he could actually be. But the fact that Dean had just laughed him off, telling him to just go back to studying as if nothing had happened, continued to play over and over again in his mind. 

Castiel had never been particularly useful in his family. He wasn’t a leader like Michael or Lucifer. He wasn’t loyal to a fault like Uriel. He wasn’t even as rebellious as Balthazar or Gabriel. He was just Cas. Average, determined to sink into the background, Castiel. But here, talking to Dean, he found that he didn’t  _ want _ to be average. He wanted to be  _ seen. _

These were the thoughts buzzing through Castiel’s head when he stormed into the music hall and straight up to Balthazar, who was lounging on a plush bench with his lunch discarded. His brother straightened up immediately, surprised at such forceful energy coming off Cas.

“Whoa now, little brother. Where’s the fire?” Castiel came to a stop in front of the bench, his jaw clenched.

“Dean Winchester,” was all Cas could spit out. His brother rolled his eyes.

“Cassy, this again? What has the big oaf done now?”

“He won’t-” Cas stopped, taking a deep breath. He obviously wouldn’t give Balthazar all the details. “I told him I could help with something, but he blew me off.”

“So what? Screw the bugger and move on. Why would you help him anyway?”

“He… helped me get home the other night. When I was attacked.” Castiel felt one of the bruises on his arms itch, but he ignored it. 

“Castiel,” Balthazar was serious, which was something rarely seen, “You don’t owe him, you know? Not a thing. But if it is truly eating at you as badly as it seems to be, then insist. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I know how stubborn you can be. Not even Dean Winchester could say ‘no’ to that.”

Castiel relaxed a little, nodding. His brother had a point. He would help Dean no matter what. He  _ had _ to. He wasn’t sure why, of course, but his mind wouldn’t let him rest until he had. 

“Thank you, Balthazar.” Cas smiled for the first time since the attack, feeling relieved that he finally had a solution he could work with. 

“Just be safe, Cassy. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Castiel stepped into the library, but didn’t move towards his usual table. Instead he made his way towards the campus history section and found Dean asleep on an incredibly thick book, a pile beside him teetering. Cas dropped his heavy bag onto the table, knocking over the stack and startling the sleeping boy.

“Whoa! Hey!” Dean’s usually wild hair was pressed flat on one side, his green eyes red and watering. Cas instinctually moved to straighten the books but stopped, reminding himself that he was trying to be forceful. Dean looked up at him, annoyed at the disturbance. “What the hell was that about?”

“I want to help.”

Dean was moving the books around, not bothering to look at Castiel. “Well, then help. I didn’t knock the damn things over.”

“N-No.” Cas straightened up, nervous energy tightening his chest and making him clench and unclench his hands. “I want to help find those… those things. That attacked me.” 

Dean sighed, looking back up. “Trust me; you’re better off forgetting about it. Just go back to having a normal life, like Sammy. I can handle it.”

“Well, I can’t do that.” Cas rubbed at one of the bruises on his arm. “I tried, but I can’t. S-So either you let me help, or I’m gonna start doing it myself.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “No. It’s too dangerous and you’re too inexperienced. That’s final.”

“Fine. Then I’ll see you poking around abandoned buildings or wherever it is these sort of things hide.” Cas turned on his heel, gripping his bag so tight that his knuckles were white. He knew he couldn’t do this on his own, knew it wasn’t safe, but he also knew he couldn’t leave it alone. It would eat him from the inside out if he did. If Dean Winchester wouldn’t help him, then he’d have to figure out something else, no matter how much that scared him.

“Wait!” Castiel stopped in his tracks, a rough hand grabbing his arm right before he could reach the door of the library. He was spun around to face Dean, who still looked annoyed, but was now carrying a brown canvas bag stuffed with what Cas assumed were the books from earlier. “I guess if you’re gonna get yourself in trouble, it’s better if I’m with you.”

Castiel’s face lit up, relief making his shoulders instantly relax. “Great.” He cleared his throat, trying to hide his delight. “I mean, I’m glad you’ve seen sense.”

Dean chuckled, throwing an arm around Cas’s shoulders and steering him out of the library. “Come on. Let’s go back to my place. It’ll be easier to add this stuff to my board.”

“Your board?”

Dean’s apartment was nothing like Sam’s. While Sam lived in a nice, clean apartment near campus, Dean lived in a run down one five blocks over. By the time they reached the building, Castiel was wishing he had brought his trench coat. Dean fiddled with the lock for a moment before finally shoving the door open. The light was dim, but Cas could make out a ratty couch and a small table and chairs. Dean stumbled in, throwing his bag down on the table before pulling open the fridge. 

“Shut the door, will you? It gets cold in here fast.” Cas pulled the door closed, having to tug on the doorknob a couple times to make sure it stuck. He turned back, finding himself face to face with the beer Dean was holding out. “Let’s get started.”

The board, as it turned out, was a series of notes that Dean had taped and pinned to a large map of campus on his wall. He had crossed out certain buildings, ones he deemed unsuitable for vampire nests (apparently they made nests? It reminded Cas of rats). Others he had circled and written notes beside. He told Cas about the couple buildings he had already searched through, one of them being the building near the sorority house from a few days ago.

“It’s not good that I didn’t find anything there,” Dean frowned. “Most of the disappearances have been from around that place, but if I try and investigate there, Sammy’ll get really pissed.”

“Why is that?” Cas asked, running his finger along the condensation forming on his bottle. He’d taken a sip to be polite, but the bitter taste made his nose curl, so the beer had become something for him to hold rather than a drink.

“He’s stubborn about his girlfriend. Let’s leave it at that.” Cas nodded, looking back at the map.

“What if we didn’t sneak in?” Dean gave him a curious look, folding his arms across his chest. “We could pretend to be blog writers. Ask to get pictures or something. One of my brothers used to be head of the school paper before he graduated. I know how to make it look official.”

Dean nodded, turning back to the map. “Okay, yeah. That could work. I could say I’m just helping you out. Then Ruby and Sam won’t be too suspicious. Good plan, Cas.”

Castiel found himself blushing with pride. Being one of eight meant that he was rarely seen as more than a body in the house. Lucifer was the oldest, Michael the wisest, even Gabriel had been the most outspoken. But he was just… Castiel. Having Dean praise him, even for something as small as suggesting a plan, warmed him to his core. 

“Okay. What else is there? There’s rumors about a group meeting up in the basement of the engineering buildings. We could check them out too.“ He circled another building, making a small note next to it.

The tunnels connecting the engineering tower to the tech building were cold and drafty. Everything was poorly lit down here at night, something Cas didn’t realize. His phone light wasn’t as helpful as he’d hoped it would be. Dean had left to go explore another hall, leaving Cas to peak around the empty study rooms that apparently were down here. 

The flashlight added the unfortunate effect of making the shadows move around him, keeping Cas on edge. Why had he agreed to this? Was he trying to prove something? Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure if it was worth it anymore. 

Strong arms wrapped around his wait, making him jump and flail, aiming hits at the thing behind him. A deep laugh rumbled behind him, the sound making him relax instantly.

“Calm down, Cas. It’s just me.” Cas turned to see Dean, grinning at him in the dark.

“Don’t sneak up on me down here,” Cas scolded, unable to hide his smile. Dean pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“Sorry.”

Cas’s eyes blinked open, spotting the campus map across the room. He was still in Dean’s apartment, but now there was a blanket pulled on top of him and a warm body pressed to his side. He straightened up, startled. Dean had his head back on the couch, the blanket also pulled over himself. Cas must have dozed off last night. 

_ I should get up, _ he thought, but instead pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Too much moving might wake up Dean, he decided.  _ Besides, _ a smaller voice in the back of his mind whispered,  _ it’s far too comfortable to move. _

  
  



	5. Questions and Answers

Castiel had tried to slick his hair back, he really had. He’d even gotten up early to do so, spending roughly thirty minutes staring at himself in the mirror willing his hair to stay in some relatively professional shape, but he knew a lost cause when he saw one. His button down was tucked in and he was struggling with his tie when he heard a knock at his door. 

He stumbled over to the door, pulling it open with one hand, his other holding the tangled tie around his neck. Dean was dressed like he always was, a flannel pulled over a black t-shirt. He quirked an eyebrow at Cas, gesturing to the tie that had somehow ended up backwards. Cas groaned, pulling the thing roughly until it was undone again.

“I don’t know how Michael ties these,” Cas grumbled, giving Dean a defeated look. Dean stepped a little closer and chuckled.

“Here, let me help. I have to do ‘em all the time.” His hands were surprisingly gentle, looping the fabric with practiced ease that impressed Cas. He stepped back and nodded. “Alright, I think you’re good. I’m just your cameraman, right?” He held up Sam’s camera, which had been hanging around his neck. Cas nodded.

“We should just be interviewing and taking photos. I don’t know how much they’ll actually be willing to show us, though.”

“Yeah, I might have to get creative.” Dean winked, grinning. Cas rolled his eyes, grabbing his trench coat with his free hand. 

The two stood awkwardly outside of the Sorority house, Cas still fiddling with the end of his tie. “Is now a bad time to bring up that I hate talking to people,” he asked, staring intently at the large wooden door. Dean sighed beside him, grabbing his shoulders and turning him until they were face-to-face. 

“Look, it’s gonna be fine, okay? All we’re doing is interviewing them about their sorority, so ask about like… I dunno, fundraisers and events they have planned for the year.” Dean reached up and ran his fingers through the half-gelled mess that was Castiel’s hair, his nose curling at the unpleasant texture as he tried to shape it into some semblance of normalcy. “Really stroke their ego. Keep them talking about how awesome they are.” He brushed off the shoulders of Cas’s trench coat, smiling and nodding to himself. “You’ve got this, Cas.”

Castiel nodded, more than a little thrown off by all the sudden physical contact. His dream from the other night began to play through his mind, Dean’s soft lips brushing against his own. But now was not the time for that. He had real, actual work to do. 

“Thank you, Dean.” He smiled, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door. 

After a moment, the door opened to reveal Sam’s girlfriend, Ruby. She smiled at the sight of Castiel, but her mood turned when she spotted Dean beside him. 

“What do you want?” she asked, her hand still holding the door mostly closed.

“I come in peace and all that,” Dean said, his hands held up in mock surrender. “I’m just here helping Cas with some school paper crap. See? Sammy even let me borrow his camera.” Dean gestured to the heavy camera dangling around his neck. Ruby gave him a distrusting look, pursing her lips. Before she could decide how much of a threat Dean was, however, another girl appeared over her shoulder.

“Ruby! Do we have guests?” The blonde had a wide smile that was cheerful and welcoming, and she quickly moved to push the door completely open. “Well, don’t just leave them out there in the cold. Come on in you two!”

They were rushed into the building, the door shutting behind them. The blonde gestured for them to follow her into a living room where other girls were sat around; some studying, others working on projects. 

“I heard you say something about the school paper, right?” she asked, sitting down in an armchair. “This room is specifically for school activities, so we shouldn’t be interrupted.” She gestured for them to sit down, both of them squeezing a little uncomfortably onto the loveseat across from her. Cas leaned forward, shifting so he could maneuver the small notepad and pen out of his pocket. Dean had given him an odd look when he grabbed it, insisting that he could just pretend to take notes on his phone, but Cas preferred the traditionalism of pen and paper.

“We should start with your name,” he said, uncapping his pen and glancing up at her. Her smile seemed to widen, reminding Cas of some unnatural predator.

“Lilith.”

It took Dean a few minutes before he was excusing himself to go to the bathroom, acknowledging Lilith’s instructions with a casual wave of his hand and a sly grin. There was a part of Cas that wanted to ask Dean to stay, not wanting to be left alone with the woman. Of course, that was unreasonable. The whole reason they were there was so that Dean could sneak around. Besides, she was just another college student, and Cas was notoriously paranoid.

“So how did you get Dean Winchester to help you with anything school related?” Lilith leaned forward, folding her long fingers and resting them on her knee. Castiel felt like a spotlight had been turned on him very suddenly. 

“He offered to help.” She laughed, her canines drawing his eye and making a shiver run down his back.

“Dean offered to help? With no personal gain? As someone who’s listened to Ruby complain about him time and time again, I have a hard time believing that.”

“W-Well,” Cas backtracked quickly, “I think he’s trying to make a good impression on Sam. Mend their relationship, you know?”

Lilith gave him a curious look. “How did you say you got involved in the school paper again? I thought you’d be far too busy with school for something so involved.”

“My brother,” Cas’s shoulders relaxed a little. This was familiar territory for him. “Metatron was on the school paper through college. He swore by it, actually. He suggested it might help pad out a resume.”

Lilith nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. 

“Did I miss the rest?” Dean had finally returned, grinning wide with his hands in his pockets. “Sorry, I got a little lost. This place is a lot bigger than it looks, but I’m sure you know that.” He winked at Lilith again, who giggled back. The sound made Cas squirm.

“Yes, I believe we’re quite finished.” Castiel stood quickly, flipping his notepad closed and sliding it back into his pocket. “Thank you for your time.” He was aware that he was moving far too quickly towards the exit, but the discomfort from his proximity to Lilith was overpowering.

“He’s just a nervous guy,” he could hear Dean saying, trying to make excuses for his odd behavior. Cas might have appreciated it if he wasn’t so focused on leaving.

They were two blocks away before Dean spoke.

“What was that all about?”

Cas took a deep breath, glancing at Dean out of the corner of his eye. How could he explain something that hardly made sense to him? He wasn’t sure what it was about Lilith that had made him so uncomfortable. It was like her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes.

“There was something odd about her.”

Dean gave him a confused look. “Odd?”

“Yes. I cannot quite place what though.” He frowned, picking at the sleeve of the trench coat. 

“Well, odd or not, I didn’t find anything. A bunch of bedrooms, a kitchen, it seemed like a normal enough place. Maybe Sammy was right.” Dean sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Either way, we’re back to square one.”

Cas nodded, feeling a little disappointed at the lack of progress. He was sure it was nothing compared to how Dean was feeling, if his sagging shoulders were anything to go off of. 

“Perhaps,” he started, “we should stop for dinner and then review the board again. I believe one of my brothers has mentioned there’s a good pizza place near here.”

Dean’s face lit up and he patted Cas roughly on the shoulder. “Great plan, Cas.”

The pair crammed themselves into a corner booth, a steaming pizza between them. Cas wasn’t normally fond of overly greasy food, but the look of ecstasy on Dean’s face as he took his first too-large bite was worth any queasy feelings that might assault him later. 

“This might be the best pizza I’ve ever had,” Dean moaned, laying his head back against the worn upholstery. Cas was picking at the edge of his own slice, biting at his lip while visions of the board ran through his mind. Dean was right, a lot of coincidences pointed to the sorority. Could it just be a cover? Or could these vampires be misleading them intentionally? Did vampires even do that? Why were these questions he now needed to worry about?

“Cas. Cas!” Castiel blinked up at Dean, who was waving his hand in the other man’s face. “Where were you, man? It was like you were on another planet for a second there.” Cas’s brow furrowed. 

“I was just wondering why Sam is so adamantly against you investigating the sorority. I got the impression that he used to hunt with you, right? Surely he sees the connections.” Dean winced, ducking his head down and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I don’t think it really has anything to do with not making connections or whatever.” He sighed, leaning his elbows on the table. “Sammy… he never really wanted to be a hunter in the first place, right? But I dragged him into it.  _ Pushed _ him into it. ‘Cus I didn’t wanna have to do it alone, you know?” Cas frowned, nodding for Dean to continue. 

“Well, a couple years ago, we were hunting this… this ghost, right? Routine stuff. No big deal. But it, uh… it got to Sammy’s girlfriend, Jess. Killed her before we even had a chance to stop it. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven himself, much less me.”

Cas hesitated a moment, and then reached out to place a hand on Dean’s arm. “Dean, that wasn’t your fault. You know that, right? Yours or Sam’s.” Dean let out a pathetic laugh, a cold and emotionless sound. “Neither of you could have done anything, like you said.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s my  _ job _ , Cas.”

“You can’t be expected to save everyone.”

“So, what? I just shrug my shoulders and move on?”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Cas!” A cheery voice called from the doorway. Lit up by the bright neon signs was Gabriel, who was very quickly strolling towards their booth.

“Damn,” Castiel muttered under his breath, the curse startling Dean out of his bad mood.

Gabriel slid into the seat beside Cas, pressing his shoulder against his brother and trapping him. “Well, what brings you out to a place like this, baby brother? And aren’t you gonna introduce me to your pal here?”

“Gabriel, this is Dean. Dean, this is my brother, Gabriel.”

Gabriel’s eyes lit up. “Ooooo, so this is the infamous Dean, huh?” Cas’s face went a funny color, and he elbowed his older brother under the table. “I gotta say, I didn’t expect you to be so…” Gabriel vaguely gestured at all of Dean, “Gruff.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow at him, glancing to Cas. “Thanks, I think?”

“Well, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I saw my favorite brother through the window, so I had to slide in and check.” He ruffled Cas’s hair. “But I’ve gotta skedaddle. You know, places to go, people to see, all that jazz.” He winked and as quickly as he had arrived, he was out the door.

“So…” Dean started, a grin making its way across his face. “That was your brother?”

“One of them, yes,” Cas sighed, running a hand through his hair to try and somewhat fix it. “I have a few.”

“That must be nice. Is he always so…”

“Yes. Unfortunately.” Cas frowned, pulling his arms tighter around himself. “Though, I don’t get to see him often, so perhaps he was just excited.”

“Why don’t you get to see him?”

“My… father. He isn’t a very forgiving man. If you disappoint him, he is quick to ‘cut off the offending source’, I believe was the phrase he used once.”

Dean winced. “And I thought my dad was rough.”

“Gabriel was one of my favorite brothers growing up, though I would never tell him. If the wrong people found out I kept in contact with him…” 

“You’d be out too? Just like that?” Castiel nodded. “Damn, Cas.”

They sat in silence for a moment, both thinking about how equally messed up their lives appeared.

“If he ever did kick you out. Your dad. You could always stay with me.” Cas blinked up at him. “I mean, my apartment’s pretty crappy, but it’s better than nothing. I’m sure you’d have better options anyway. You know, forget I said it. It was stupid and-”

“Dean,” Castiel stopped him, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.”

  
  



End file.
